Among the war reports we read in the paper and see on the television these days are some about Iraqi civilians living in war zones. I read about these people as if I know them, as if it were my own family. What does that do to my heart? What does it say about war?

As I watch, I wonder: What are our children seeing? What is this doing to their hearts in their formative years? Certainly as they watch Iraqi children in the news, they can imagine what it must be like to be caught in the destruction of all they know.

In fact, the very idea of war disturbs and confuses our children and youth because it contradicts what they are learning in school. In three-quarters of our nation’s schools we teach skills for non-violent “conflict resolution.” This training has become necessary as United States society and our schools have become more richly diverse. Children are learning to deal non-violently with bullying, name-calling, insults and other forms of cruelty. We are teaching them self-respect and respect for others so that they will realize that violence is not the answer. As one sign that these programs are working, informal polls in schools across the country, taken early in the war, showed that a majorities of high school students oppose the war in Iraq or support it reluctantly and quietly. (Washington Post, March 31, 2003, p.C1)

Unfortunately, our young people are seeing something different as they witness the actions of adult leaders on the world stage. They have seen diplomacy and inspections, peaceful means of problem solving, prematurely abandoned in favor of armed conflict.

In this country we have become more familiar than ever with the nationalities, races, cultures and religions that make up this small, interconnected world. When our children see news reports, they see children who look like them, like their friends and classmates. War scenes are not something I want our children to see, but since they will, I want to ask them, how does the suffering of Iraqi children make them feel? What are they moved to do in response?

Maybe children viewing the war need adults to share with them our own experience of seeing and feeling others’ suffering, and to hear how I am moved to respond. Maybe this is an opportunity, especially for parents and teachers in these very troubled times, to grow in our own hearts and, for the sake of our children, in compassion. I hope that in the future compassion will characterize our people and that today’s youth will strive as adults to make peace in their world, in their time.

Violence is devoid of compassion and cannot make peace; violence is not the answer.

Compassion is the wish that others be free of suffering.

H.H. the Dalai Lama